Goodbye Terrible Twos and Welcome Troublesome Threes! Happy 3rd Birthday to My Darling Lil Dumpling....

My dearest, darling, little menace Lil Dumpling,

You are going to be THREE this Sunday! Let’s get over with the cliché first, “How time flies!” Holy macaroni, when did you turn 3?! Seriously!!! ~sigh~

As you leave behind the year of Terrible Twos and enter the year of Troublesome Threes, your parents can’t help but feel proud for the little feisty fighter they are blessed with! As we see you, our little brave boy, hopping around the room dancing to the music playing in his mind, we feel the love for this little brat gushing from our hearts and threatening to flood our eyes! A wise person once told me that when your heart filled to the brim with love for someone, it is quite natural for it to overflow in the form of pearly tears! That wise person is now in different time zone, thousands of miles away eagerly waiting to cuddle you, her very first grandchild. You, our Lil dumpling, have shown us the true meaning of our hearts beating outside our bodies!

The day I knew I was carrying little life in my womb I secretly hoped for a baby girl! So when we found out that we were expecting a boy, I threw little tantrum! I am hoping that I can put the whole blame my pregnancy hormones and get away with it. But it was my fear of unknown, the fact that I didn’t know single thing about boy stuffs that made me wish for a little girl! You see, your momma didn’t know a thing about cars and motor bikes! I didn’t enjoy a game of cricket or football. I was and still am a wuss about roller coaster rides and never understood the fun that car or motor bike racing brought! I wondered and worried to sick thinking about being in a sideline while your dad become centre of your universe! I worried if we will have any common interests or hobbies?! I worried about raising a little boy in a family full of chest thumping and loud male species! I felt terrible and guilty for wishing for a baby girl and carried that burden of guilt with me for 2 years! I should have known better… I shouldn’t have worried so much after all as you are my baby, my son! I always thought that I will find it difficult to bond with a male child, but in reality I was scared of you unable to connect with me, my thoughts and feelings!

And then you came into my life! A perfect baby with pink cheeks, dimpled chin and head full of darkest mane I had ever seen! My baby who grew in my womb, sharing my blood, flesh and my life, matching you heartbeats with mine, hearing my voice, tickling me, kicking me, touching my heart and soul like no one ever did, making me believe in miracles and turning my life upside down! I knew I was lost the moment you opened your bright eyes and looked at me! For the very first time in my life, I understood what they meant by true love, unconditional love.

I am head over heels in love with you, young man! You have so much power in those tiny dimple hands of yours to make me smile, laugh, cry and feel sad. You do break my heart occasionally and it is you who mends it too! The way look deep into my eyes with concentration as if you could read my mind, the way you hold my hands firmly as if you will never let it go, the way you hold my face in your tiny dimpled hands with so much tenderness, the way you come running to me with open arms, the way you caress my cheeks when I look tired, the way you smile at me with a deep dimple on your left cheeks, the way you fill my heart with such joy that I never experienced… You, my Lil Dumpling, have made your loony mom moon all over you! If I ever had any doubt about raising a boy, it all has dispersed in thin air long ago…

These days I find myself enjoying the sports that I never enjoyed before! Kicking the ball is fun, and so is wrestling in the bed! I have improved my skill at racing the cars and identifying the different species of your Jurassic era friends! My aim at throwing balls and splashing water with water pistols is getting better and so is my fear of touching the wiggly worms or slimy snails in the garden! As much as you enjoy all rough rides and tumble activities, you are equally interested in colouring the world in a beautiful shade of rainbow colours and dancing to every silly tune just like your mother! You make my heart skip a beat when you drag me to your book shelf and ask me to read your favourite stories. When you handle little bugs and creature with care, I see the tenderness in your otherwise twinkling eyes with mischief. You dance with abandon with hilarious moves, like your dad and then sometimes gracefully, just like your ‘ahem’ mother. You enjoy helping your mother in the kitchen as much as you love to help your dad in fixing the things! You have inherited my love for music and books. You are a dreamer just like your mother and have strong never-give-up attitude like your father! You have generously inherited the wicked sense of humour and foodie genes from your father and yet the same time, have inherited my wanderlust genes and sadly my fiery hot temper too! All in all you have inherited the best of both your parents, but above all you are discovering and developing your own personality and we, your parents, watch you in awe as you take baby steps in the path of finding your true self!

The last year has been particularly testing and troubling with your health and we have had enough rides in ambulance to last our lifetime! We have spent many days in hospitals than we could really care to keep track of and had regular visits to doctor’s clinics. But all these health issues and problems couldn’t dim your inner spirit or reduce the bounce in foot steps! You have showed your parents and people around how to live life to the fullest! Boy, am I proud of you or what?! You make me appreciate every moment of my life and live my life like there is no tomorrow!

Do you know you think a lot? There are many moments when I find you in deep thoughts and I can’t help but wonder what’s going in that little head of yours! It feels like you are always taking in everything that comes in your way and I can see the wheels churning in your mind as if you are processing everything and saving it in that little brain of yours to implement later on hapless people in your life, especially your mother. :) It is no wonder that kids’ minds are compared the sponge as we see you taking so much in, in and in! I know that it will not be too late before your parents are subjected to all the pranks that you are cooking up in that little head of yours! :)

Your current favourite animal is a monkey and that makes me wonder why I am not surprised by your choice?! ;) It is closely followed by cat, dog and Laa-i-on. You can spend all your day watching them and then pretend to be one. You favourite rhyme is “5 little monkeys” and you sing this song repeatedly as you jump up and down on the bed all the while screaming ‘no more monkeys jumping on the bed’!

You pretend to be a big boy when I beg for hugs, but come running to me when you get a teeny-tiny wound and bask in all the attention I shower upon you! Even the deep and painful ‘boo-boos’ are healed with my touch and kiss and I am left speechless with the power you have given me to heal everything! I don’t know if I am worthy of so much trust and love that bestow on me! Just when I am scared and doubtful for being the receiver of such unconditional love, you look at me with a little smile on your face and I find my shoulders drop down and relax. We smile at each other and the world once again becomes a happier place…

You are blessed with vivid imagination and you are a born dreamer! Let your imaginations run wild and see it taking you to places even when you are standing still! Dream big, but make sure that you work hard to realise it. If there is just one thing that I am allowed to give you, then it will be my love for books. There is no better enjoyment like reading and you will live several lives while reading. The more you read the more you will find yourself. And finding yourself is the key that will open many doors of our life’s puzzles and opportunities. Books are your lifelong best friends, wisest counsellors and the most patient teachers. Remember what your favourite author Dr. Seuss says, “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

Just this morning I was reading the letter I wrote to you last year and it made me smile. All the worries I had on your second birthday seems so silly now. You are (95%) potty trained now and you did this on your own! You sleep all through the nights except for few times when you want to party all night. All your parents want from you is give them little notice for these wild parties at the drop of a hat and hope that you do it mostly on weekends! You have at last convinced your parents to stop buying the expensive toys as you find the cardboard boxes, bubble wraps, empty bottles, junk mails the most fascinating toys! You can spend hours in stretch painting, sketching and colouring the world in rainbow colours and your mother is finding it difficult to find enough storage space to save all these master pieces you create. You like to cut papers into smallest possible pieces with your plastic she-ssors (scissors) and love to spend time inside your tent playing with your imaginary friends. Yes, you do have imaginary friends who encourage you to scream loudly and charge at your unsuspecting mother. You even like to cook food and feed us with delicious food that you cook in your pink kitchen.

Your favourite books are Julia Donaldson’s ‘The Gruffalo’ and Dr. Seuss ‘There is woket in your pocket’ still continues to steal the show! You can narrate these two stories by heart and yet you want me to read it to again and again! :) Your favourite bedtime story is something that your dad created about sun, moon, stars and meow! Yes, silly stories, silly faces, silly songs and silly antics makes you smile! Bright yellow continues to be your favourite colour, closely followed by blue and orange. You LOVE ice creams, chocolate and yogurt in that order and ask for the same for breakfast, lunch and dinner. :) You like your Dosa to be crisp, sweet corn and peas continues to top your favourite food lists and adore beans and peanuts.

You love to go on long walks, love to run with your arms held close to your chest and jump from heights with your arms stretched far as if you intend to fly! You are cautious at most time and yet there are times you leap before you think. :) You walk straight into the doors, you trip over and stumble down, and you get up and dust yourself when no one is watching you and then throw yourself into things with abandon. You like to be pushed higher when you are in swing, screaming with joy and asking me to push you higher and higher! “Up…. Up… Higher… Higher... More… More…”, you scream with twinkle in your eyes and smile on your lips. I try to calm my rapidly beating heart and swallow my fear as I push you higher and smile at you when our eyes meet…

Few months ago as I watched you climb the slide from the wrong side, you lost your grip and came tumbling down. You lay there on the dusty floor your nose touching the ground and I was ready to pick you up and brush your tears away. But I stopped myself as I watched you slowly push yourself up and then dusted your cloths. I held my breath when you turned to look at me and was ready to face the accusing look. But instead I found myself laughing with you when that small smile broke on your face and the laughter filled the air! That was your first step towards independence, and I will carry that image of your laughing face with me all my life…You are not afraid of falling down anymore, because now you know to pick yourself up and move on…

You are fiercely independent, and want to do everything by ‘myself”. I watch you with amusement as you brush your teeth on your own to make sure no ‘huLu’ or ‘worms’ harms your pearly whites. I watch you with fascination as you eat on your own and drink from ‘big boy’s cup’. I watch you with pride as you get dressed by putting your shirt, pants, trousers, socks and shoes on without any help from me! Today you almost managed to zip the coat on your own! I watch you with all my love as my little baby is growing up in to a big boy. It is hard to let you go and let you do things on your own when all I want is to cling to my baby. But I am learning this age old principle of ‘letting go’… I have learnt to ‘let go’ when you didn’t want me to hold you all the time when you learnt to crawl. I have learnt to ‘let go’ when you didn’t want me to carry around when you learnt to walk. I have learnt to ‘let go’ when you wanted to eat by yourself using those plastic spoons and forks. I now have learnt to ‘let go’ when you have learnt to dress on your own! I know I am just at the beginner’s level of this most difficult life course of ‘let go’ process and I have a long way to go. There might be times in the future, near or far, when “letting go” gets really difficult, but then again I have to be strong as you think your mom to be! After all it is a part and parcel of life and I know that you will help your mother in this process!

The people around us said that you were lagging behind with your speech and language. But we didn’t agree. And now with the experts on our side who confirmed our belief, we look at you in amazement and pride as you speak slowly, each word articulated clearly and correctly. You are a fast learner and there is now clarity when you talk, just like your actions and thoughts. You expressed yourself beautifully before with your hand gestures, body language, eyes and facial expressions, but now you are learning to express yourself better with words! Your parents are proud of you son for what you have achieved in spite of bad and painful start to your life! We stand behind you with proud smile on our face as you continue to amaze and surprise the world around you!

I know it’s too early for you to understand as you are just a child, but it is never too early to learn few things in life! Don’t suppress the child in you, let him live and guide you when you stand in a life’s crossroads and don’t know which route to choose. Have imaginations of a child and hunger for knowledge even when you reach the ripe age! Make friends with those whom you connect with your heart and not just your head. Respect time, other’s feeling and your country. Stand up for your rights and fight for the common cause and justice for others. Be open minded; respect other peoples’ thoughts even when they do not match yours. Learn to accept defeats gracefully and handle triumphs humbly. Be kind. Learn a sport which teaches you sportsmanship and fair play. Cultivate a hobby that you genuinely enjoy. Use ‘thank you’, ‘please’ and ‘sorry’ generously and honestly. Respect the food and never waste it. Read books and travel a lot. Meet a lot people from different backgrounds, learn and respect their cultures. And lastly, don’t try to be a superman! There is a reason why he is a comic book hero and wears his undies out! ;)

My life is filled with adventures and new bright colours because I am seeing the world through your eyes. Everything seems beautiful, feels better and thrilling as we discover new things which I once thought was mundane and boring! You have taught me to throw my hands up in the air and say “yaaay” when we see the sun rays streams through thick, grey clouds and kisses our face. You have taught me to chase my shadow and dance with it. You have taught me to stop in my track and take in everyday beauty that surrounds us. You have made me look at the little and small things transform into magical things when I see them trough your eyes. These little, mundane things that I brushed off in most part of my adulthood, taking them for granted and thinking them as a part of everyday life has now magically got transformed into a thing of wonder when I see them through your eyes! You have awakened the sleeping child in me and now I find myself happier and at peace with the world around me. You have opened my eyes in many ways and for that I will be thankful to you!

Lil Dumpling, the love I feel for is almost blinding and simply takes my breath away. At this juncture I feel a tsunami of emotions hitting me like a ton of bricks; happiness, pride, love, joy, pain, doubts, fear, anxiety, wonder, uncertainty. There is no emotion left that I haven’t experienced in the last 3 years and I have lived every single moment to the best as I could. During the times of lows, I kept hand on my chest and chanted to my aching heart that ‘it’s is going to be OK! Everything will work out just fine!”. And during the times of ups when you made my heart skip the beats, I again tried to tell my heart that “All is well!” 3 years is a long time for anyone to learn, but my heart still skips and jumps to my throat whenever I see your antics. I don’t know how long my heart can carry on taking all these shocks and surprises, but I am hoping that it will accompany for many years to see all your antics! :)

On your birthday your dad came home looting half the stores in the town, his car boot brimming with toys and other cool stuff like the yellow bike you choose for yourself. While your daddy is showering you with gifts of every kind, I come empty handed. But I do have a very special gift waiting for you. I have wrapped myself in a yellow coloured gift wrap, your favourite colour! Yes, I give you myself, my undivided attention and company for one full year! Starting from next month, I am taking a sabbatical for a year from my work and hanging my corporate coat in the back of my wardrobe. I want to play with you, jump with you, count the stars with you, talk to the moon with you, skip with you, make friends with your friends, nap with you, make silly faces with you, laugh loudly with you, colour the world with you, discover new things and learn with you… Above all I want to live and make happy memories with you!

My darling Lil Dumpling let us welcome another turbulent but amazingly fulfilling year of your life…our life! Let us discover together what more adventures are in store when we step into the Troublesome Threes while fondly waving goodbye to the year of Terrible Twos!

Life… Bring it on!

Happy 3rd birthday, my son! I love you my darling Lil Dumpling…

Much love
Amma

P.S: I leave you with an image that says a lot about your personality and life. This is you, my son, my little Calvin :)

(Img source: Go Comics)